The Black Cauldron,
Hansel and Gretel,
Batman,
Scissors,
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,
Alice in Wonderland



...I'm not attracted to Helena Bonham Carter, but I feel like Tim Burton has screwed so many things I love, I should return the favor.


Too many blogs about this man.

-I'm done for a good long while.

Rules of Three

I'm not in love with you:
I don't really have much of a reason.
But I'm not.



...there is that Twilight thing.

Not that it matters

• baby elephants are adorable.

• I need to find a way to publish a small book and find some information about using pseudonyms.

• Jelley Fish are the number one, most frightening living creatures on the face of the earth. Only because ebola isn't technically considered alive.¹

• I don't believe anything is really "bad" for the environment: change is good.

• Polar bears are going extinct; I don't give two craps. (neither do Darwin and Jesus)²

• I'm going to try and blog at least once a week.

• I firmly believe Tim Burton and Stephanie Meyer are ruining society.

• A mixture of arrogance and laziness (with increasingly less intelligence to back it up) will be the downfall of humanity³

• There are few things in the world more fascinating/inspiring than watching someone who loves what they do

-that's some Marlonisms for your a**.

1.Parasites put up a good frikkin fight for the spot on the top of the "things that make me crap my pants" list.
2.I would have said something about penguins and seals but they do care. In fact, they're quite happy about it.
3.Genocide via robots.

To whom it may concern,

A.
I'm not in love with you:
You have terrible taste in movies, music, and books, your internet grammar is horrifying, we have little in common.
I love you entirely too much.


B.
I'm not in love with you:
We have some ideological disagreements, you're a little bit "wilder" than I can keep up with, you're not all that pretty.
I love you entirely too much.
Plus, through no fault of your own, I can't help but feel inferior in every imaginable way around you.




-I'm not in love with you.

Using a pick on your guitar,

...Is a lot like using a dildo on your girlfriend, you can't really get into it.

Trying to remind myself this blog exists. I think there are two major problems.

1.I have too many blogs¹ (a problem I don't currently wish to remedy and don't expect to in the future)

2.In order to post one, I have to be near a computer, and in order to be near a computer I need to be at home. (which is incredibly inconvenient²)

the thing about the inspiration to write, is it comes at random times in random places and if not dealt with abruptly it leaves suddenly and violently. And the thing is, I like writing, but having something to say is not something I have any control over. (I blame it on the fact that I didn't read much as a child³)

The obvious solution would be for me to get a top of the line pda phone⁴... possibly the most expensive phone offered by an American service provider (I've got my sights set on some high quality mobile computing here⁵) to keep me fully in control of my digital biosphere.

But another problem arises on the way to my solutlion⁶, money. And as evidenced by the fact that I don't even have a regular cell phone at the moment, I am not one blessed with fortune.

Which leads me to solution B! Operation Marlon Needs To Make Some Goddamn Money! (as it's officially titled) Where I'll be trying various means, (summer job hunting, busking, street vending, freelance writing, art selling, gardening, etc.⁷) while hopefully hilariously chronicling my efforts on the road to technological supremacy (and hopefully not, but most likely failing) (Where's you optimism, soldier?).

This is my goal for this summer.

It even takes priority over leaving the country, teaching myself kung fu, petitioning/protesting to legalize nunchucks, writing at least one screenplay, and learning breakdancing, juggling, and magic tricks.

Wish me luck, non-existant readers,
-The artist formerly known as Romulus.

----------------
1.There's at least 11 of them. seriously.

2.especially since my computer is probably close to a decade old (I got it five years ago and it was refurbished), is not completely reliable, and DECIDES TO UPDATE PRETTYMUCH EVERYTIME I GET ON(at 3am)

3.I just didn't care much about stories unless I was watching them happen or I was making them up.

4.HTC Fuze

5.Mad hax

6.This phone costs 345 f***ing dollars!

7. I might even try selling drugs and prostitution if I was more confident in my ability/willingness to get laid or wasn't completely lost about where to actually get drugs to by or sell...or wasn't completely sure I'd get caught, sent to prison and rizzaped(that's rap for sodomized). But I wouldn't panhandle, that goes against my principles.

The thing about grandparents.

I was born with two, I met one, and 12 days ago she died (the last of her kind), partially because of one of the very few things that can actually make me angry, incompetent medical workers.


and as messed up as it sounds, I'm glad.


Because, if she hadn't, I probably would have never gone to Milwaukee.


My dad would still be hundreds of miles from the family he grew up with, there'd be a lot of family history that my sisters and I would have probably completely missed out on.


and I probably wouldn't have thought anything about it.


Because although I probably have somewhere close to 100 living relatives, for most of my life, my family basically consisted of four other people.


There's something really eye-opening about meeting and learning about your family.



It was weird, 'cause, like, I could see, within that week, a lot of moments that would be remembered for the rest of some of our lives. Something about seeing that take place-almost literally watching the impression being made-it's, it's something else.


Especially with the kids. I'm not going to lie, being able to teach them something and leaving a kind of a legacy is a thoroughly exciting thing.


There was a lot of teaching and learning involved with that trip, sometimes simultaneously, and I could tell, a lot of us needed the fellowship.


So thanks, Grandma. Thanks for the teddy bear, thanks for the dad, thanks for living your life and thanks for the family.


-Dean Jr.

It's basically impossible for me to write this without feeling extremely lame...

The first kiss

I'm not sure if it's ever what anyone expects. I may never be sure.

I sort of jokingly expected it to be with someone I was minimally attracted to and/or merely part of life as an actor.

I couldn't have foreseen just how awkward I would be with 20 years of Sarah Palinesque inexperience or that it would be repeated about nine times in a row.

It was the result of my new mantra to just let life happen, react, and try not to hold myself back too much. Since planning and trying not to relinquish control has never worked too well for me.

Obviously, someone else has better plans for my life. He knows more than I do.

I think she ate something I'm allergic to cause my lips kind of itched immediately after.

Hours later, they still kind of tingle. Is that normal?

But it's ok cause she's a vegan and I had a burger for breakfast. HA!

I'm trying not to hate surprises so much anymore.

She's just weird enough to fit seamlessly into my life's time line.





--The whole situation is pretty funny actually.