Any Decent Title Would Be a Spoiler

I saw it coming.

You saw it coming.

My family and every English teacher I ever had saw it coming.

I failed the second half of this month's Challengavaganza. Failed like a failing failure from failsville.

I know how it happened, I waited too ling to choose a book, and I got distracted and then I picked THe Sun Also Rises [in my pants] and then I had other stuff I needed to do, and other stuff I didn't need to do but I did anyway and now I'm a failure which means...

the first half of the month will have to be from the dreaded Fail List.

Fail List
1.Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond.
2.Twilight Saga - Stephanie Meyer
3.Plagues and Peoples - William Mcneill
4.Faerwell to Manzanar -Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston & James D. Houston
5.Hiroshima - forgot author, sorry.
6.A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickins
7.Ceremony- Leslie Marmon Silko
8.Cry, the Beloved Country- Alan Paton

Now, as the rules go, there's no reward for completing a punishment, there's no punishment for not completing a reward, and there's no reward for completing a reward.

No official rule has been made for failing a book from the fail list. [my vote fully goes for no punishment for not completing a punishment since the whole point of the fail books is they're difficult to complete] I'm open to your votes.

In my humble opinion, a non-book punishment punishment for failing a fail would be best to avoid a long, horrible chain of failures that would no doubt make me swear off reading actual books for many more years.

So, yeah,

1. Votes for which book (just one book if part of a series) I should read for the punishment

2. Votes for punishment-punishments (if any at all)

3. and Should I start also making video parts to the Challenge compilation?

--next book starts tomorrow.

Tests show

Marlon fails at serious conversations.

Stupid questions: check

saying "yeah" way too many times: check

feeling utterly useless: all over that shit like bread on butter.

You know.

You know you're growing up when you pull one of those pre-packaged ice cream cones out of the box and saying "oh...that was bigger than I expected"¹

You know you're growing up when you forget what your least favorite ice cream flavor is until after you bite into it and think "I started it, I might as well finish"

You know you're still a kid when you decide to use a doughnut chaser for you nasty chocolate ice cream.



-Whachu kno about dat


1. That's what she said.

Panera Blog (again)

"I promise you,
This book kicks
Twilight's ass
DFTBA
-M"

(Looking For Alaska in WaldenBooks on K and 10th St. west)

One if the most tense and exhilarating moments of my life¹



Everyone should keep jumper cables in their car, It seems like every time I see one stopped on the side of the road I wish I knew more about cars so I can swoop in be a hero.²

As I arrived at Panera ( I recently learned that means bakery) I saw a man that may or may not have been naked³ trying to start a car with a dead battery; I asked, neither of us had jumper cables. I awkwardly walked away. The one time I know what's wrong with a car and how to fix it, no dice.

There's no music this time.

There's a girl in front of me who ha a breast cancer awareness shirt that says "I love my big ta-tas" I almost lolled. 50% because those breast cancer awareness things always remind me of North Carolina State University.⁵

I was going to write about books and Kanye West today, we'll see how that turns out later.⁴

-M

1. It was better than 'Nam

2. It's even more childish than it sounds.

3. If I had known this before hand, I assure you, I wouldn't have walked up. luckily, he didn't get out of his car.

4. Click on it.

5. *Spoiler alert* I finished No Exit and I think people are overreacting about the VMAs just because there was nothing notable about the show but Kanye's crazy and Lady Gaga's crazy.

Reflection on the Challengavaganza's First Seven Days

I don't know a lot about what exactly makes writing good, or funny, or captivating, and I don't know the formula to word sequences that pull a reader's eyes across a page without them putting forth much effort, but I know that whatever it is, things like Paper Towns, and The Brothers Karamazov have it, and American Gods (no offense to the man who suggested it to me) did not.

I mean, I started American Gods with high hopes because it's frikkin Neil Gaiman and who doesn't love Neil Gaiman and Stardust was certainly awesome plus, Coraline, I didn't see it but jeez it looked interesting...but it took, like, 5 tedious days to get through the first ten pages. Luckily, an awesome friend suggested reading "No Exit" first and I'm extremely susceptible to the suggestions of those participating in the Challenge. (Yay, one act plays!)

To kill time between then and when I could go to the school library(today) and check it out. I started reading The Brothers Karamazov and ten pages of that breezed by in minutes and were accompanied by clear and present laughter at points which I found weird. Really weird.

The question is, what does an existentialist, 19^th century Russian writer with no awards and no notable movie adaptations have that a 21^st century rock star of literature with scores of awards and like ten films with his name on them doesn't?

I leave you with a non sequitur, yet very true statement.

-My favorite things are beginnings.

P.S. I like "No Exit" so far.

Next Tuesday will be time to begin The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, Volume I: The Pox Party.


(day one can be found here: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=8822520&blogId=508370549 )

Nobody reads this blog but,

Just in case...

I also posted this on facebook and myspace.

Ok, it's not that I'm conceding that I actually need to actually read actual books instead of reading about books or listening to people talk about in order to live a full and enriched life (or assert my intellectual superiority).

I have a strict policy of not retracting statements except in the most dire circumstances. (there are a few small loopholes that will not be discussed at the moment)


It is that I would like to witness examples of various writing styles as they are applied to storytelling situations.

um, et cetera.

So what I'm going to do is apply a self-challenge of reading at least two books a month for 12 months starting next month (September 1^st).

I will call it Marlon's Mind-Exploding ≥24 Book Challengavaganza!


What I need from you, if you would be so kind, is to suggest to me any book (or as many books as) you want to be read within this time. Any book, regardless of how long it is, whether or not you think I'll like it, whether or not you think I've read it before (assume I haven't), or whether or not you think I'l quit 25% of the way through the book (I might, but I'll try not to)

Also, my plan is to somehow document this and make it interesting.

-Let's go, if you want it you can get it, let me know...

I think...

People (humanity in general) are obsessed with the idea of apocalypse. They're always searching for things that are going to kill us all and latching onto it like insecure barnacles.

In a way, I am too.

It's weird, and I don't know how to explain it, but honestly...


I kind of wanna see it happen.

Because out of the billions and billions of people that have lived and will live, such a small percentage will be able to experience the end of the world.

I hope (as I similarly hope with my own death) it happens in an explosion of triumph, glory and flames, scarring the universe with a eulogy that says "this is what it took to wipe out the great human¹ species"


- I mean...if it has to happen (and it does) might as well do it spectacularly.


1.It would also be pretty awesome if the "human" part was replaced with "cockroach".

Let's get down to business

I don't got no time to play around what is this?
Must be a circus in town, let's shut the shit down
On these clowns, can I get a witness?


Lack of focus.

I have this problem.

The desire to write things and use words effectively and entertain people. I have no idea why I have this desire at all, but its there. Not because I've never done it, there are millions of things I've never done that don't strive to be the Chuck Norris¹ at. This is not one of them.

In fact, one of many careers I've wanted to pursue was that of the novelist.

I don't know why I've failed to realize that if I don't have the dedication to spend three hours on one book (much less keep coming back to continue for multiple days) I may not have the dedication required to spend three(frikkin)years writing one.


I have, written on the wall next to my bed, a short list of goals I wished to accomplish this summer. I haven't begun any of them.¹


I desperately need to write a resume so I can get called back when I put in Job applications.


I've neglected drawing. I must return to it.


The Fall has always sort of symbolized, to me, one of my absolute favorite concepts, the cleaning of slates and starting fresh with nothing attached.³ This is what I want to do. This is the perfect time to accomplish goals. Two weeks from now.⁴

I need to get 12 straight hours of sleep, shave my head, clean my room, buy some school/art supplies and get started. It's time to become a newborn child that's never seen anything before, greeting the world with nothing but the purest curiosity and amazement. I think that's what this year is for, come to think of it.

2008 was like a culmination of everything I've learned previously and practical application of long-held theories, a conclusion of sorts, and 2009 has been the stripping down of old stuff. With all the people and things being lost/dying like leaves from a tree. As if God is using metaphors.

I'm going to make it my goal to write something every week
and because in order to write well, one must read, I will read at least one book a month (or at least start one per month)
I will learn how to juggle
I will learn to do a hand stand
I will learn magic tricks
And sculpting

I'll resume drawing,
Return to painting,
get a job,
replace my broken crap,
and learn some politics.⁵

After 21 experience points, it's time to graduate to a level 2 Marlon.
let's do some crapp!


-Hell Yeah!

I'm 99.6% sure my mom has ADD I hear that stuff is genetic.

1.I don't actually like Chuck Norris.
2.My mind has a habit of jumping from subject to disjointed subject, I'm just hoping they'll all connect at the end.
3.I don't even know how to describe how beautiful I think a blank sheet of paper or the smell of brand new, freshly sharpened pencil is.
4.Also, my absolute favorite time is "later".
5. Without becoming a cynical bastard.


...also I need to attract some readers. That'll be some motivation...

humanetrics?

Your Type is
INTP

Introverted	Intuitive	Thinking	Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
11	62	62	22

INTP type description by D.Keirsey
INTP Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™ INTP Famous Personalities
INTP type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss



Qualitative analysis of your type formula
You are:

• slightly expressed introvert
  
• distinctively expressed intuitive personality
  
• distinctively expressed thinking personality
  
• slightly expressed perceiving personality
  

I like the fact that is says how much you fit into each category

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

This planet made of win

Improv club, not nearly as cool as improv class, but I will be going back that's for sure.

Driving

Awesome Park

Cowbell

Meteor shower in the desert (a place far inferior to the Solace of Gillead, but I don't think Waldino's ready to go there yet) with Captain Squeegee music and dancing

Feeling the earth spin

Spontaneous roadtrip planning

East Side Highschool at 1am

More cowbell

Cop came.

Cop made fun of our ridiculous outfits/musical instruments and let us go (I was so happy)

Walmart

Finally found Strawberry Hill after having looked for it literally every time I've walked through the alcoholic beverage isle.

Decided to buy it (three signs rule)

found out Walmart doesn't sell alcohol between 2 and 6am

restock

Jack in the box tacos and sausage biscuit (no eggs, no cheese).

parkinglot improv.

tonight/last night was a success.

The Black Cauldron,
Hansel and Gretel,
Batman,
Scissors,
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,
Alice in Wonderland



...I'm not attracted to Helena Bonham Carter, but I feel like Tim Burton has screwed so many things I love, I should return the favor.


Too many blogs about this man.

-I'm done for a good long while.

Rules of Three

I'm not in love with you:
I don't really have much of a reason.
But I'm not.



...there is that Twilight thing.

Not that it matters

• baby elephants are adorable.

• I need to find a way to publish a small book and find some information about using pseudonyms.

• Jelley Fish are the number one, most frightening living creatures on the face of the earth. Only because ebola isn't technically considered alive.¹

• I don't believe anything is really "bad" for the environment: change is good.

• Polar bears are going extinct; I don't give two craps. (neither do Darwin and Jesus)²

• I'm going to try and blog at least once a week.

• I firmly believe Tim Burton and Stephanie Meyer are ruining society.

• A mixture of arrogance and laziness (with increasingly less intelligence to back it up) will be the downfall of humanity³

• There are few things in the world more fascinating/inspiring than watching someone who loves what they do

-that's some Marlonisms for your a**.

1.Parasites put up a good frikkin fight for the spot on the top of the "things that make me crap my pants" list.
2.I would have said something about penguins and seals but they do care. In fact, they're quite happy about it.
3.Genocide via robots.

To whom it may concern,

A.
I'm not in love with you:
You have terrible taste in movies, music, and books, your internet grammar is horrifying, we have little in common.
I love you entirely too much.


B.
I'm not in love with you:
We have some ideological disagreements, you're a little bit "wilder" than I can keep up with, you're not all that pretty.
I love you entirely too much.
Plus, through no fault of your own, I can't help but feel inferior in every imaginable way around you.




-I'm not in love with you.

Using a pick on your guitar,

...Is a lot like using a dildo on your girlfriend, you can't really get into it.

Trying to remind myself this blog exists. I think there are two major problems.

1.I have too many blogs¹ (a problem I don't currently wish to remedy and don't expect to in the future)

2.In order to post one, I have to be near a computer, and in order to be near a computer I need to be at home. (which is incredibly inconvenient²)

the thing about the inspiration to write, is it comes at random times in random places and if not dealt with abruptly it leaves suddenly and violently. And the thing is, I like writing, but having something to say is not something I have any control over. (I blame it on the fact that I didn't read much as a child³)

The obvious solution would be for me to get a top of the line pda phone⁴... possibly the most expensive phone offered by an American service provider (I've got my sights set on some high quality mobile computing here⁵) to keep me fully in control of my digital biosphere.

But another problem arises on the way to my solutlion⁶, money. And as evidenced by the fact that I don't even have a regular cell phone at the moment, I am not one blessed with fortune.

Which leads me to solution B! Operation Marlon Needs To Make Some Goddamn Money! (as it's officially titled) Where I'll be trying various means, (summer job hunting, busking, street vending, freelance writing, art selling, gardening, etc.⁷) while hopefully hilariously chronicling my efforts on the road to technological supremacy (and hopefully not, but most likely failing) (Where's you optimism, soldier?).

This is my goal for this summer.

It even takes priority over leaving the country, teaching myself kung fu, petitioning/protesting to legalize nunchucks, writing at least one screenplay, and learning breakdancing, juggling, and magic tricks.

Wish me luck, non-existant readers,
-The artist formerly known as Romulus.

----------------
1.There's at least 11 of them. seriously.

2.especially since my computer is probably close to a decade old (I got it five years ago and it was refurbished), is not completely reliable, and DECIDES TO UPDATE PRETTYMUCH EVERYTIME I GET ON(at 3am)

3.I just didn't care much about stories unless I was watching them happen or I was making them up.

4.HTC Fuze

5.Mad hax

6.This phone costs 345 f***ing dollars!

7. I might even try selling drugs and prostitution if I was more confident in my ability/willingness to get laid or wasn't completely lost about where to actually get drugs to by or sell...or wasn't completely sure I'd get caught, sent to prison and rizzaped(that's rap for sodomized). But I wouldn't panhandle, that goes against my principles.

The thing about grandparents.

I was born with two, I met one, and 12 days ago she died (the last of her kind), partially because of one of the very few things that can actually make me angry, incompetent medical workers.


and as messed up as it sounds, I'm glad.


Because, if she hadn't, I probably would have never gone to Milwaukee.


My dad would still be hundreds of miles from the family he grew up with, there'd be a lot of family history that my sisters and I would have probably completely missed out on.


and I probably wouldn't have thought anything about it.


Because although I probably have somewhere close to 100 living relatives, for most of my life, my family basically consisted of four other people.


There's something really eye-opening about meeting and learning about your family.



It was weird, 'cause, like, I could see, within that week, a lot of moments that would be remembered for the rest of some of our lives. Something about seeing that take place-almost literally watching the impression being made-it's, it's something else.


Especially with the kids. I'm not going to lie, being able to teach them something and leaving a kind of a legacy is a thoroughly exciting thing.


There was a lot of teaching and learning involved with that trip, sometimes simultaneously, and I could tell, a lot of us needed the fellowship.


So thanks, Grandma. Thanks for the teddy bear, thanks for the dad, thanks for living your life and thanks for the family.


-Dean Jr.